@zacharyflynn: You say jump I say how high. You say run I say how fast. You say lets hang out I say no.
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@KeetPotato: [kelloggs meeting] "okay so, the corn flakes box, what can we put on it?" a chicken "jim is there something wrong at home?"
@TheMichaelRock: 7yo: I HAVE A LOOSE TOOTH! Me: The Tooth Fairy doesn't want you messing with it until payd...Friday.
@AnkCoupleTO: Cute Internet Girl: This guy is pretty funny, I think I'll fol- Me: *Human Cannonballs my way into her living room* HELLO!