@novicefather: You say my obsession with Justin Bieber tore us apart but I say my momma don't like you and she likes everyone.
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@YeahDrewisOn: Her: I can't believe you slept with her! Me: WE WERE ON A BREAK! Her: I just went to the store to buy bread! Me: Longest six minutes ever
@crabgirl_: The people in this spin class are looking at me like they've never seen a girl with a helmet before.