@novicefather: You say my obsession with Justin Bieber tore us apart but I say my momma don't like you and she likes everyone.
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@thetigersez: How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them? Like, did you ask him? Because only one of us is screaming right now.
@TheTweetOfGod: What a tense, tense day 4/19 was. Maybe tomorrow, somehow, will be a little mellower.
@CYComedy: Batman's Bat Signal was really banking on the fact that crimes only happened at night.