@novicefather: You say my obsession with Justin Bieber tore us apart but I say my momma don't like you and she likes everyone.
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@TheSadnesses: if I am elected governor I will eat your pillow while you sleep and unlike my opponent I will also do it if I am not elected
@JasonLastname: Show your neighbor they shouldn't park their boat outside of their house by filling it with two of every animal.
@djdarrellripley: Her: She's too young for you. Me: Based on what? Her: Based on the number of times the Earth has orbited the sun since she was born.. Me: