@mewritesgood: You say "potato", I say "This isn't working. I think we are unhealthy together and you scare the shit out of me. Keep the cat. He hates me."
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@apollilaire: hello id like a reservation for two. also what is yr policy on cats. i wanna bring like seven cats. ive practiced fitting them on one chair
@ArfMeasures: DATE: I'm a historian, I love the mediaeval era ME: [trying to impress her] *dies at 28*
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Don't forget to take a screen shot of the weather forecast today and post it on Instagram.
@weinerdog4life: Maybe the Titanic sank because there were too many cats onboard, you don't know.