@Carbosly: You say "save the date", I hear "more time to come up with an excuse of why I'm not going."
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@VeryLonelyLuke: Kylo Ren used to complain his parents were passive aggressive. Well, boo hoo. My dad was actively aggressive. Just ask my hand.
@BromanConsul: GOD: hey my son is broken, he won't absolve the sins of mankind IT GUY: try turning him off, waiting 3 days, then turning him back on again
@Fickle_Filly: I enjoy reading, long walks on the beach, and getting myself into situations where the only way out is to fake my own death.
@theevilwriter: HR says that we are no longer able to say to anyone "if ignorance is bliss you must be such a happy person" even if we smile as we say it.