@briangaar: you say "sitting in your parents' basement wearing pajamas" like it's a bad thing
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@MUMSIEesq: Fun DIY Project Even YOU Can Do Step 1: Flip over empty wine bottle Step 2: Use base as weapon
@johncheese: I want to hire someone to wake me up each morning by bursting into my room and yelling, "Get dressed and grab your gun -- they found him."
@VaguelyFunnyDan: (Arrives in rescue boat to aid sinking cruise ship full of today's pop artists, saves only Lorde and Sia, speeds away)
@Getnosexual: I have twins because my wife wanted more children than she was willing to have sex with me...