@briangaar: you say "sitting in your parents' basement wearing pajamas" like it's a bad thing
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@CassandrasJack: I call bullshit on dogs being mans best friend. That little m'effer didn't lift a paw when I moved. Not him or all his little friends
@Reverend_Scott: GUY: I wish girls liked comics. GIRL: I love comics. GUY: Oh really? Then what's the Hulk's favorite flavor ice cream?
@HomeProbably: My kid brother used to have a lazy eye and had to wear an eye patch. My whole body is lazy so I'm wearing my couch.
@ParaComedian09: If only ISIS had kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter, none of this would be an issue.