@meganamram: You say "tomato," I say "tomato," and there, we've written our own wedding vows
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sageboggs: Listen up, guys Neil Diamond is the name of a famous American singer-songwriter but it's also a checklist for anyone about to propose
@NoLuckWanted: A guy just offered to buy me a drink. I declined, but heard him say lesbo to his pal. I replied "Only for you, baby". Now he feels special.
@LambyMcSheeps: if going to church has taught me anything, it is that Catholics hate unexpected pterodactyl impressions
@Pro_Jones_: (Date) Me: Sorry I have terrible anxiety and get picnic attacks. Her: You mean panic attacks? Me: *pulling basket out* Oh god make it stop