@Parkerlawyer: You scream "SWEEP THE LEG!" one time and all of a sudden you're "invited" to watch your kid's wrestling match from the parking lot.
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@online_rat: one time a girl told me she listens to "anything but country" so i played pterodactyl noises on on full volume the whole way to Ruby Tuesday
@living_marble: One thing books from 100 years ago teach us is that if you leave a baby in the jungle, it'll be fine. Better than fine, actually.
@wolfpupy: next time you hear The Boys Are Back In Town think of me, the unsung hero, who chases the boys out of town with a broom