@Brentweets: You scream, we all scream, I apologize for entering the womens bathroom.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@tastefactory: JOB INTERVIEWER: So what are your biggest weaknesses? HE-MAN: Well, I- *job interviewer's fake mustache falls off and it's Skeletor*
@FrogAvalanche: "How's the wine?" "House red?" "Yes." *sips, swills, spits* "Wow it's got too much body." "Sorry, I should have evicted the tenants first."
@trumpetcake: My new coloring book, How To Tell The Woman You Love You've Been Living In Her Shrubs For A Year, comes out on tUESsdhay martha i love you
@DiamondLou69: It's amazing how fast the first 30 minutes of work just fly by when you show up a half hour late for work.