@Brentweets: You scream, we all scream, I apologize for entering the womens bathroom.
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@pinupteacher: Time out. Otters not only sleep holding hands, but have a SPECIAL POCKET to hold their favorite rock? Humans are bullshit.
@TheAlexP: Whenever I hear "let me tell you the truth", I secretly cross my fingers, hoping they say "brownies are healthy, eat as many as you want."
@CherBear162: Did you hear that? What? DID YOU HEAR THAT? NOT "WHAT?"..WHAT!? What? *axe murderer kills both*
@novicefather: QA Manager: And what is the protocol when an aircraft comes inbound with a suspected Ebola case? "WTF. Planes can catch this shit too?"