@Brentweets: You scream, we all scream, I apologize for entering the womens bathroom.
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@Fred_Delicious: [Getting waterboarded] "Um, sir the subject isn't responding to interrogation, he's just getting bigger" [Me, a sponge] "MwahahaHAHAHAA"
@murrman5: officer it's my son's car "just make it stop sir" I don't know how "can you call him" I'll try *tries to dial while car bounces up and down*
@ranndrew: "How much do you love me?" Count the stars in the sky and that's how much I love you "But it's so cloudy" *pats her on the head* Yeah I know