@Brentweets: You scream, we all scream, I apologize for entering the womens bathroom.
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@david8hughes: Time traveller: I'm from the future Me: prove it *he pulls out next weeks newspaper* Me: nice try, they've already invented newspapers
@hunz74: My 10 year old: "If nothing is faster than the speed of light, how did the darkness get there first." Me: "What?"
@PaperWash: 6'5" guy: [starts a fight with me at the bar] me: [hides behind GF] GF: HEY, WHAT THE F- me: look, we need more strong female lead char-