@TheAdly: You sell yourself for retweets, you are a prostitweet.
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@SirEvisiae: *pretends to throw ball* *dog runs to chase it* Ha, stupid dog. *dog keeps running, disappears over horizon* Um *dog tackles me from behind*
@tastefactory: Hey water enhancer company, you could have made your pineapple flavor literally any other color.
@Awk0Tacoo: It's really hard to explain that your eyes are really red from allergies and not weed when you're buying cupcakes and a pound of Doritos.