@astutenewf: YOU SHOULD BE CALLED JEHOVAH'S FITNESS! I yell as I lose my breath chasing them down the street.
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@LuvPug: I think it would be totes adorbz if I throat punched you the next time you say 'totes adorbz'
@DougBenson: I don't like it when my phone puts a word in "quotals" like I made it up or I'm stupid or something.
@KateWhineHall: How come I have to do all this work and you do nothing all day? - my 8yo while doing one chore
@PorkUrPine: WIFE: look at that couple. He kisses his girl every time he sees her. Why can't you do that ME: I'd love to but I don't know her well enough