@astutenewf: YOU SHOULD BE CALLED JEHOVAH'S FITNESS! I yell as I lose my breath chasing them down the street.
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@girlontapas: Establish dominance by licking the spoon and then putting it back in the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving dinner.
@ShortSleeveSuit: Basic white girl [laughing]: Yasssss omg I'm dying! Takes Everything Literally Todd [shocks her with a defibrillator]: NOT ON MY WATCH!
@13spencer: Experimental Music sounds like a cool idea until you realize that the experiment is how bad something can be, and still be called music.
@lovemydogduck: My son's method of Laundry: If it's clean it's on the floor. If it's dirty then it goes on the floor over there.