@UNTRESOR: You should never go grocery shopping when you're hungry and never go clothes shopping when you're naked.
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@SamGrittner: *job interview* "So this yearbook isn't your resume?" "No. I'm not a moron. Those are my references. I highlighted all the NEVER CHANGE's."
@ibid78: *uses handkerchief* Well now that this is used, it seems I won't be blowing my nose again til laundry day.
@mjkspeaks: The worst thing about life is getting comfortable and then realizing that you don't have the remote.
@LaceyNycole: Meteorologist: According to our facts, we'll have a longer winter- People: LET THE GROUNDHOG DECIDE Meterologist: But science People: NO