@UNTRESOR: You should never go grocery shopping when you're hungry and never go clothes shopping when you're naked.
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@shutupmikeginn: An old lady on the bus just tried to set me up with her daughter. Here's everything she knows about me: 1) I don't have a car
@Phook75: Whenever my neighbor looks like they want to speak to me. I collapse to the ground motionless as if I were one of Andy's toys.
@WilliamAder: If you've ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you've seen me wrapping Christmas presents.