@Birdhumms: You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
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@mishakey: I was tailgating a slow driver earlier. He brake checked, flipped me off, and when that didn't work he turned his police lights on. Jerk.
@doktorj: As an only child with a pet cat that bullied me, the pool cleaning robot was my closest friend.
@TheBoydP: Four Worst Feelings Ever: 4. Losing your job 3. Romantic break up 2. Death of a loved one 1. Needing to pee when you're stuck in traffic
@tuckerflodman: Hey girl, on a scale of 'Neo's mind in the beginning of The Matrix' and 'Neo's mind at the end', how free are you tonight?