@1Happytwit: You shouldn't judge people. What if that bloke outside your window with a clown mask and knife is just a chef that lost his way.
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@Moldy_Jellybean: I haven't had a good nights sleep since I started wondering what holds up those blocks in Mario.
@GrantTanaka: *daughter reading *son playing ipod *dog sleeping *house quiet *I go take a dump FISTFIGHT BREAKS OUT, DOG'S ON FIRE
@LackOfShame: The funniest thing about being sober is someday finding out that you were the mayor of Toronto.