@1Happytwit: You shouldn't judge people. What if that bloke outside your window with a clown mask and knife is just a chef that lost his way.
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@JeremyBRoberts: Scott Walker is dropping out of the Presidential race. In a nationwide poll of likely voters nearly 98% responded to the news with, "Who?"
@JessObsess: I may make a lot of typos when I text, but in my defense, I do have to look at the road sometimes.
@RCKruseKontrol: I'm not trying to sound like a conspiracy theorist but isn't a little suspicious these hurricanes keep happening in alphabetical order??
@ArfMeasures: [After kidnapping] ME: Don't worry I have a particular set of skills .. ME [making mice tuxedos] admittedly I don't know how this will help