@1Happytwit: You shouldn't judge people. What if that bloke outside your window with a clown mask and knife is just a chef that lost his way.
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@KentWGraham: There’s a fire at a trick birthday candle plant. Firefighters have been battling the blaze on and off for 5 days.
@AmishPornStar1: Not to brag, but I just went into another room and actually remembered why I went in there... It was the bathroom...but still...
@Douchekevin: My GFs good traits: Young, gorgeous, incredible in bed and has a dragon Bad traits: Imaginary- but I overlook these because of the dragon
@thequeensheart: "Mom, I promise I won't interrupt your nap." "Thanks honey, could I finish peeing by myself?"