@tequilasaltlife: You sneezed 20 times in a row, I think your brain wants out
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@EliTerry: I USED VOLUME MAXIMIZING SHAMPOO THIS MORNING SO YES I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM IN YOUR FACE OFFICER
@aldenskii: *in an interview* Me: Tell me a time when you really struggled in your previous job. Applicant: 5-7PM po. Me: Applicant: 8PM. Me:
@AtticusFinch79: [face to face with a serial killer] Me: So this is how it ends. SK: Kill you? In this economy? I just needed to borrow a cup of sugar.
@murrman5: you're upset I bought a waterbed aren't you "yes take it back" I lost the receipt *sneezes and we bob up and down for 8 minutes in silence*