@tequilasaltlife: You sneezed 20 times in a row, I think your brain wants out
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@Cheeseboy22: A fortnight is equal to 14 nights. Unless you live in a fort; it is equal to one night. Fort math is only complicated to non-fort dwellers.
@ewfeez: Whenever a guy named Stephen tries to tell me what to do I shout, "you're not my real hen!" and run away
@GingerHotDish: Cortana, where is the closest Taco Bell? There's a Weight Watchers meeting 1 mile away from you. *Note to self: Never call Siri Cortana*
@ItsAndyRyan: [Library] MAN: Do you have books on fire? LIBRARIAN: Yes, in the Chemistry section MAN: Come on boys! *Swarms of firemen enter with hoses*