@tequilasaltlife: You sneezed 20 times in a row, I think your brain wants out
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@my_minivan_life: "Owen, you must hide this baby from Anakin Skywalker at all costs." "Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?" "That's cool."
@Momtoteens: Daughter just told me my hair looks good. The request for a ride will be coming in less than 10 minutes.
@joerogan: That Russian meteor footage is a nice reminder that we're flying through the universe in an organic spaceship with no roof.
@Try2StopME: Customer care: Your call is important to us, please hold on. Customer: *completes graduation* *gets a job* *gets married* *gets old* *dies*