@sixthformpoet: You speak in haiku / That is VERY attractive / Said no girl ever
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@wolfpupy: my street gang has been walking down the street snapping our fingers in unison for like 3 days, we all forgot why we were doing it
@Vodkantots: "And what will you do if you're crowned Miss Universe?" "I will have a special prosecutor put the first runner up in jail."
@buttnight: I came home to a trail of bread leading to the bedroom & of course I followed, only to find my husband in bed with 10 ducks. I'm heartbroken
@turboescortdude: Hey babies, I can do 12 push-ups. Impressed? Doap. Typo, meant babes. Impressed? No? Oh. Well then. Impressed babies?