@usermcuserface: You start a mosh pit at the orchestra one time and all of a sudden you're "banned for life" and "arrested".
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@panmidwest: FRIEND: where do you work ME: I can't tell you FRIEND: really? like it's top secret? ME [unemployed]: correct
@TheAlexNevil: Fact: DJs who work at radio stations playing christmas music for two months are not allowed to wear belts or shoe laces.
@briancthayer: *licks the powdered sugar off the donuts and puts them back* Boss: I kinda like these new low-cal donuts. Real moist.