@usermcuserface: You start a mosh pit at the orchestra one time and all of a sudden you're "banned for life" and "arrested".
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@JasonLastname: It's sad your dad left but it could be way worse. What if, instead, you kept getting dads? Every day, until your house was packed with dads.
@SamGrittner: Imagine coming back to life as a zombie but someone tied your shoes together before you were buried.
@caperbc75: Sorry my seductive strip tease to Janet Jackson's Black Cat blew your Grandma's pacemaker and caused your Mom to divorce your Dad.