@MBittersweet25: You tell me to get off my high horse? Why dont you tell the damn horse to stop getting high all the time.. His drug problem isn't my problem
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@mexinonblonde: My 2 year old granddaughter sounds like Eddie Vedder when she talks. And like Eddie I love the shit out of her but I can’t understand a god damn thing she says. The struggle.
@LizHackett: It's Sunday morning. My 80-year-old neighbor has hiked and weeded her garden. I spent ten minutes trying to reach the remote with my foot.
@dannyboy7813: [Getting phone call from the School] Teacher: I'm afraid I have to inform you, your son was in a fight. M: Did he win? T: That's not really relevant. M: It is to the winner.