@MBittersweet25: You tell me to get off my high horse? Why dont you tell the damn horse to stop getting high all the time.. His drug problem isn't my problem
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@CulturedRuffian: When one door closes, another one opens which is also one of the first signs you probably have a poltergeist.
@FatherWithTwins: Me at 23: I can’t believe someone called the cops on us, it’s only 1am!! Me at 43: It’s 10 o’clock and they’re still making noise. Call the cops.
@newLettuce: [1800s] Guy who hates kids: Create for me something children will love, but then it abandons them, or dies a slow, withering death, or vanishes with a terrifying gunshot noise Francis H. Balloon: Here's a thought