@Jez1: You text him, he doesn't text you back. Obviously he was so excited that you texted that he fainted.
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@DanMentos: me: excuse me but is the pilot vaping? flight attendant: no there’s a fire in the cockpit me: oh thank god
@duplicitron: I accidentally grabbed the wrong shopping cart but am hoping this kid will stop screaming soon because I am not raising a cry baby.
@LilFlaOrange30: I'm like a cartoon character, not because I'm cute or funny, but because I wear the same clothes every day.