@Jez1: You text him, he doesn't text you back. Obviously he was so excited that you texted that he fainted.
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@DarzieDAMN: It's not that I accept the Terms and Conditions. It's just that I would rather not spend the rest of my life reading them.
@ojedge: [Blackstreet Bakery] Me: [watching the baker kneading dough] "I love the way you work it" Baker: "No diggity?" Me: "Baguette up."
@SarahThyre: During love scenes in a Wes Anderson movie, the sound effects guy rubs a baguette against corduroy.