@Jez1: You text him, he doesn't text you back. Obviously he was so excited that you texted that he fainted.
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@_NTFG_: A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
@KarenLyneButler: When mad at the hubby, I just tweet about it. I don't sleep with a waitress that looks just like him. I'm talking to you David Arquette.
@Reverend_Scott: Me: Jimi Hendrix? Daughter: Who? Me: Beatles? Daughter: Who? Me: Doors? Daughter: Who? Me: Justin Bieber? Daughter: Hate him. Me: Thank God.
@mrjohndarby: Dr: Does it hurt when I do this? Me: Yes, a bit Dr: And now? Me: Yes, that's very painful. Please stop showing me photos of you and my ex