@AntozWolf: "You the bomb" "No you the bomb"....- A compliment in America.An argument in the Middle East.
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@KindOfASmartass: I hate when you tell someone you're bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you're not quite that bored
@Maxine12333: You know you're getting old when the kids start referring to your savings as their inheritance.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Can we have Oreos for dinner? Me: Are you crazy? That’d be terrible for you. 4: Mom’s not home. Me: *eats Oreos for dinner*