@AntozWolf: "You the bomb" "No you the bomb"....- A compliment in America.An argument in the Middle East.
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@OfficialMizGin: Him: Why do you wear riding boots? You don’t ride horses. Me: Why do you wear sneakers? You don’t sneak.
@TomTheWicked: Daughter: why does that guy with the whistle keep interrupting the football game? Me: because mommy isn't there to do it.
@SaraESpivey: When my ex worked out of town, he would take my vibrators away from me. Said I was cheating on him w/them. He shoulda taken his brother too.
@dinnersruined: *hands you a marijuana* "This one's called Air Bud. It'll make you play basketball. Also it might turn you into a golden retriever."