@JBelk78: You think I'm over dramatic? When an octopus gets upset, it eats itself. THAT'S over dramatic.
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@capricecrane: Now's a good time to change your facebook name to "Nobody," so when you click like on ignorant statuses it says, "Nobody likes this."
@danjan13: Not a single one of my girlfriends has stuck around to see how many old school WWF finishing moves I know.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Spider-Man is my favorite superhero whose name is made up of 2 things that scare the shit out of me.
@EJGomez: [speed dating] *girl sits down* "hi im melan- QUICK A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HAPPENS WHAT WEAPON DO YOU USE "wha- CORRECT ANSWER WAS KATANA. NEXT