@kumailn: You think Japanese teenagers are shocked the first time they see a real live naked woman & it's not all pixelated looking down there?
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@SenatorBigfoot: *dies & becomes a ghost* Wow! The philosophical & theological repercussions of this are staggering! I've got to tell-- *is eaten by Pac-Man*
@jjhartinger: I picked up an ice cream cake & the cashier said keep it in the freezer until serving so it doesn't melt. I've got to start dressing smarter
@anerdonfire2: The worst thing about that mime stealing my woman was when he silently laughed at me
@Kyle_Raney: "I'd like to make a toast." - piece of toast telling her toast husband she wants to start a family