@buseysteeth: You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.
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@bfrosty04: Vicodin and Scotch. When you absolutely, positively need to wake up underneath your neighbor's swing-set.
@SwedishCanary: If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you're on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
@mrjohntofu: My signature move is parking closely to the sports car at the end of the lot taking up four spaces.