@jake_lach: You think you have your anger issues under control until someone starts telling an important story while they're chewing
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@ch000ch: ME: i'm having a lovely time tonight my date: why do u keep yelling "ME" before every sentence
@senderblock23: If you love something, let it go. Unless that thing is a cat. Your cat will not come back.
@Playing_Dad: [Batman villain naming meeting] Ok, name the guy who asks all the riddles. "The Riddler?" GENIUS! OK, how about the woman dressed as a cat?
@maebemarbles: *at the pharmacy* I WOULD LIKE THE PILLS THAT ALLOW ME TO CONTROL BIRTH *pharmacist blinks* GIVE THEM TO ME, SORCERER