@Underchilde: You think you’re not capable of violence, but then a bird sings at 6AM and you start researching surface-to-air missiles.
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@AmericanGent69: Me: *leads her to bedroom* This is where the magic happens. Her: Nice *4 rabbits jump out of a hat as a flower squirts water in her eye
@jergarl: Not sure why this lady looked so shocked when I whispered, "LIAR!" into her ear after I watched her type "lol". She did NOT lol.
@TheToddWilliams: MOM: What did you learn at summer camp? KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator? For what? KID: To charge our iPods
@rolldiggity: I just hope people who say "Jesus is my co-pilot" realize he's a 1st century carpenter with no time in a flight simulator.