@Molly_Kats: YOU TWEETED 23 TIMES TODAY. RT @realDonaldTrump People ask me what I do in my free time. The answer--I don't have any.
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@Book_Krazy: Me: I love these lazy Sundays. Boss: It's Tuesday. Get off my couch and out of my office. And for Christ's sake, put some clothes on!
@john_vavra: WOMAN: pls help, theres a man outside terrorizing me 911: haha aww that just means he likes you MURDERER (at window): HEY SHUT UP I DO NOT
@noogscorner: Superman: Kinda sucks you can't fly. Batman: It's okay. Superman: Why? Batman: My planet hasn't exploded, so I can still walk and drive.