@LucyLouMcB: You wanna do stuff with toys in bed? Let's do it; I've already got like 3 hot wheels cars and a Barbie in there right now, so....
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@jus4golf: My wife said she for Lent she was giving up eating meat. I thought she did that after the wedding vows.
@YUCKYBOT: Divorces should just be reverse weddings where you get pushed out of a church while your friends steal appliances from your home.
@MeepisMurder: in 2nd grade we had to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up and i just drew myself with sunglasses on
@slimmy_shady: 20% of traffic accidents involve deer.Who allowed deer to drive in the first place?