@pixelatedboat: You wanna mess with me, pal? You wanna mess with the saddest man in town? I've got a whole crew of sad boys just waiting to burst into tears
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@palokin: Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it
@Reverend_Scott: [on date] Ok, don't let her know ur a vampire. Her: I think I'll have a steak. A STAKE?? [turns into bat and flies away]
@ojedge: Guys what shall we call thing that impedes movement? GUY NAMED BARRY: "How about a barry?" GUY NAMED BARRY BARRY: "How about a barrier?"