@pixelatedboat: You wanna mess with me, pal? You wanna mess with the saddest man in town? I've got a whole crew of sad boys just waiting to burst into tears
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@SuchaDumbWorld: To my American friends: On Sunday, don't forget to set your clocks back one hour. On Tuesday, try not to set your country back 50 years.
@HatfieldAnne: Dad used to remind us kids to check for copperheads hidden in the woodpile. Of less concern was giving an ax to a 10-year-old.
@TheAlexP: The difference between a turtle and a tortoise is the tortoise chose to race a hare and the turtle became a Ninja.