@pixelatedboat: You wanna mess with me, pal? You wanna mess with the saddest man in town? I've got a whole crew of sad boys just waiting to burst into tears
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@Cheeseboy22: My son just told me he's changing his clock to military time so he can stay up later. He is not a smart boy.
@JohnLyonTweets: Facebook post: Sad news. Mom passed away this morning. Facebook: Be the first person to like this.
@10InchesPlus: The hoodie & shorts combo outfit, because you almost understand how body heat works.
@aveuaskew: Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.