@hallebaileys: friendly reminder that it is a sin to not be bisexual. the bible says adam and eve not adam or eve.

@mommajessiec: *Sneezes* Dating: Bless you Engaged: You’re adorable Married: We need to talk

@CulturedRuffian: INTERVIEWER: What are your skills? BATMAN: I right things. I: What do you write? B: I Right People's Wrongs. I: Oh so you're an editor?

@ficklenuts: Adulthood is almost as fun as a piñata full of wasps

@Eric_Bader: Isn't it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don't know what ironic means.