@iLikeCatShirts: You'd be surprised at all the discounts you get when you come in swinging a sword!
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@shanethevein: Accidentally bring the wrong kid home on Halloween once and now I have to listen to the same stupid story EVERY year.
@ericsshadow: My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
@bigmacher: Ugly sweater day at work. I'm wearing a new, really nice expensive sweater but walking around saying "ugh, please, this old thing."
@TheSharona06: "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!!" I scream to my dogs as they all watch me trip, run into the coffee table and spill my coffee all over myself.