@jakob_huber: You'd think Bowser would start locking the front door of his castle after the first time Mario just walked right in like he owned the joint.
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@KimmyMonte: [Jesus' dating profile] I love wine that's made from water, taking long walks on the ocean and going to supper w my friends.
@QwertyJones3: [College admissions office] "Sorry sir you can't transfer your street cred for college credits" ME: that's wack
@DeLMarSan: Guys, leave 3 notes scattered around ur house for ur girlfriend that say "Will", "you", & "me." That'll keep her busy while u watch sports.