@sixfootcandy: You'd think my hair would be a little more cooperative considering how many times I blow it per week.
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@Shock_Monster: I swear to holy hell, Aunt Pat, I would rather lick a midget's taint than accept your invitation to play Lucky Slots.
@ChipKellysBalls: It should be a rule that if you're going to put you kid on a leash, you can't be mad if someone walks up, asks if they bite, and pets them
@ImABaconDonut: One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth.
@PAT_E_ROCK: BREAKING NEWS: Due to the horrible conditions at Sochi, the Olympics have been moved to a much safer place.. Chernobyl.