@causticbob: #YouHadOneJob #SuperBowlXLIX
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@jamieramone: It's the point of the night where I either keep my drunk friend from making an ass of herself or just tape it for youtube.
@OkieGirl405: This is a fake tweet, someone asked me to put their # in my phone so I'm pretending to add it to my contacts
@jonnysun: i know a guy who loves saying "best thing since sliced bread" and i imagine hes always at a grocery store lookin at bread and just losing it
@lisaxy424: My mom texted me asking what "DTF" meant and I told her "Dedicated To Family"...I seriously can't wait for her to use it.