@causticbob: #YouHadOneJob #SuperBowlXLIX
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@FierceMess: If it weren't for twitter I wouldn't know what it feels like to go unnoticed. Just kidding, I'm married. I know exactly how that feels.
@bridger_w: "Oh, are you driving?" -Good question to ask someone as they force you into their trunk
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: What's your phone number? *looks up from phone* Me: I don't have a phone. *looks down at phone* Coworker....