@Douchekevin: You'll know when it hits 0 degrees because all the Canadians will be wearing shorts, playing frisbee and BBQing outside.
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@TheMichaelRock: HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
@PaperWash: [grocery store] dad to his crying baby: shhh stop crying [baby keeps crying] me: wow, your baby does not listen
@AmberTozer: If a shark is ever attacking me I'm gonna be like where are your parents do they know you act like this