@SCbchbum: You'll never convince me people eat raisins for any other reason than by accident.
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@thenatewolf: *angrily throws glass of bourbon into the fireplace* I'M SORRY MY RUDE WIFE DIDN'T OFFER YOU A DRINK, MR. FIRE!!!!
@2tickytacky: Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn't argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor.
@Ristolable: This is your captain speaking. Would someone who knows how to be a pilot please come up? I'm literally just pressing buttons.
@ItsLaTourette: I heard girls like guys that are mysterious so I just put a fog machine under my bed