@SCbchbum: You'll never convince me people eat raisins for any other reason than by accident.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: Legal tip for men: if you get a free t shirt at a bar, you're not required to keep it forever, like they can't arrest you if u throw it out.
@SarcasticAlly12: When friends or family ask me if I'm going to have another baby, I just gesture at the chaos of my life and yell, "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"
@internetluke: Man down! Send in back up! *wife comes rushing in the room* "What happened?!" *i dip another chip in the salsa to rescue the broken chip*