@Arroia: Your baby might be adorable, but so is my cat and she cleans her own butt.
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@aveuaskew: I'm supposed to be afraid of you because you are a twitter badass? What are you going to do, caps lock me?
@shawnries: Cars should have a thing where if you drive around with your blinker on for too long, they explode.
@DamienFahey: "This is NPR." Yeah, we know. You just spent the past 4 minutes whispering the news over a jazz saxophone solo.
@MAB1013: Fair warning....if you talk while I am counting cups of flour for a recipe, I will stab you with the knife I'm using to level them off.