@Arroia: Your baby might be adorable, but so is my cat and she cleans her own butt.
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@lex_looper: CNN just said the world is in $217 Trillion debt. Who the f*©k do we owe money to? The Decepticons???
@klickitatstreet: I'd only marry someone if they seemed like they'd be pretty easygoing during our divorce.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: I put my Barbie in the tanning bed. Me: You don’t have a Barbie tanning bed. 4: Me: *sprints to the toaster*