@timdonakowski: Your baby's cute. Not baby elephant cute, but still cute.
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@NYC_Blonde: I enjoy April Fool's Day because I like responding to fake pregnancy announcement texts with "no wonder you've been looking chubby".
@JohnPoveromo: The iWatch is awesome because it's the fastest way to let everyone know you used to have 500 dollars.
@codyspencer0: Somebody said "hey wanna eat this apple" and I said "no thanks I ate a PC for lunch"