@timdonakowski: Your baby's cute. Not baby elephant cute, but still cute.
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@HairyJew4Life: Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
@997omar: Whenever I meet a new baby, I stand still and let it come up to me and smell my hand first before I try to pet it
@katta_IoIkatt: The cats told me the reason we only have one life is because we're too stupid to handle nine lives. I believe this is true.
@curlymalloy: I helped a little old lady at the market today.. She was too short to grab a box of cereal from the top shelf, so I stood on her shoulders!