@topaz_kell: "Your bathroom has better lighting for selfies" wasn't a good enough excuse for my surprised neighbor getting out of the shower. So uptight.
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@Leemanish: There's this guy at work who's always putting on a sweatshirt. No one's ever seen his face.
@CornOnTheGoblin: "Son, do you know why we named you Easter Bunny?" *sigh* "Because you don't b-" "BECAUSE WE DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU"
@ch000ch: *hitler leans in close to the mic* and the next person to question me gets executioned *grammar nazi bites lip*
@GrantTanaka: If you ever see me on my death bed, please take me off my death bed & move me to my alive bed thx