@TheTweetOfGod: Your body is a temple. Congrats on the expanding congregation!
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@shariv67: "Your honor, my client is absolutely not a flight risk."n"What makes you so sure?"n"He is a penguin."
@LizHackett: I want to be rich enough to leave the house-sitter notes like: "If the cheetah looks bored, jog him on the treadmill. He can watch Friends."
@ryan_rachryan80: I use so many age defying crinkle creams that I don't have finger prints anymore.
@abbycohenwl: [god on LSD creating Donald Trump What if a car alarm that constantly goes off for no reason were a person?