@TheTweetOfGod: Your body is a temple. Congrats on the expanding congregation!
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@daemonic3: [interview] So what makes you qualified to be an x-ray technician? Superman: Are you being serious right now?
@SteveSuckington: "There's approximately a 50% chance there will be weather today." -meteorologists
@BlindChow: COP: do you know why I pulled you over? ME: *furiously trying to swallow a mouthful of mattress tag stickers* no