@althene: Your body is a temple. Mine is a graveyard.
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@JoanBaileyy: Me: " *types in password*, Password Doesn't Work" ** OMG I'M HACKED**.... *oh wait... never mind, CAPS LOCK WAS ON..*
@CVTBaby: When the ex saw 2 wine glasses in my sink, I hope he thought, "she shared a bottle w/ a hot guy" not "drinking alone 2 nights in a row"
@Storminika: Me: "Dude, I brought another dress for you to clean." Dry cleaner: *takes off headphone* "Sorry, come again?" Me: "No, mustard."
@absolutemeh: A new study finds marijuana users are not more likely to have car accidents. Mostly because they're usually too high to find their cars.