@MikeRevenaugh: Your boss will respect you more if you sometimes disagree, especially if you touch their face and say "You silly goose."
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@AristotlesNZ: Hey! I took my diaper off, see? Oh! Look! I found your power drill! Gonna go see if it fits an outlet.. Bye! -My 2yo when I'm on the toilet
@LackOfShame: I'm no blood spatter expert, but by the look of this bathroom floor, you're pulling your tampons out way too fast.
@UncleDuke1969: “Im sorry, I’m just really uncomfortable around children,” she said. “I understand that,” replied the obstetrician, “but I still need you to push.”