@MikeRevenaugh: Your boss will respect you more if you sometimes disagree, especially if you touch their face and say "You silly goose."
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@Jen_Up_: 4: can you whistle? M: *whistles* 4: Here's a booger. M:... 4: Keep it forever. Have kids they said. It'll be fun they said. Liars.
@DanMentos: “Hello, Pizza Hut” Hi, how many slices are on a large pizza? “eight” And a medium? “eight” *long pause* I’d like to speak with your manager
@Storminika: A cop just pulled me over -- asking if I knew my tail light was out? I said, 'Uh uh. I drive on the inside of my car'