@KevinFarzad: Your British accent is so attractive! If we had kids would they have British accents? We should do a scientific test & find out. For science
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@Kyle_Lippert: "Trump is a good businessman" He has a failed steak biz, a failed vodka biz & failed casinos. HOW DO YOU SCREW UP STEAK, VODKA & GAMBLING
@KevinBuffalo: Justin Timberlake postponing his Buffalo show Sat. & then going on Fallon is like that time I called in sick & tweeted a selfie on a boat.
@ThaJawn: (Kid's Bday Party) Kid: Who are you? I'm you, from the future, don't eat that cake! K: *puts cake down, runs away crying *eats his cake
@Renie_Rivas: My hair is 100% organic, but it has been tested on animals. Portions may have been used to drape over cats' heads to make little wigs.