@WigCannon: your call is important to us. like, super important. we all bought new outfits for this call. dave is wearing a wig
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@lisaxy424: Hot chick without makeup: her beauty is so effortless & carefree Me without makeup: why is that very sick grandma not in a home
@sofarrsogud: My son was like 'I got a D in my maths' and I was like 'That's really bad' and my wife was like 'you need to stop doing his homework'.
@KeetPotato: [on date] girl: "id like to if i met mr right, how bout you? have you ever been married" henry the eighth: "our food sure is taking a while"
@Try2StopME: Customer care: Your call is important to us, please hold on. Customer: *completes graduation* *gets a job* *gets married* *gets old* *dies*