@wilco30: ''Your call is important to us......please enjoy this 40 minute long flute solo''
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@JamieGreenlees: My GF left me because she said I lied about stupid things. I was so upset I ate a car park :(
@BlindChow: [last supper] Judas: Here, I brought this Jesus: A bottle of wine? Srsly? I need that like I need a hole in my hand Judas: *winks at camera*
@LosLos__: Stop. Stop it right now. I'm going to count to five. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. ~A parenting haiku.
@TheHyyyype: MOM: your friends smoke weed so now u do? ME: uh- MOM: if they jumped off a bridge, would u jump too? ME: guess it depends how high i was