@wilco30: ''Your call is important to us......please enjoy this 40 minute long flute solo''
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@Abusitron: Me: why do bad things happen to good people? God: *reveals image of me jerking off to April from Ninja Turtles* Me: oh God: *nods solemnly*
@AdderallMomma: Nobody warned me that my child could possibly develop an attitude similar to mine.
@whereami18: A close talker, a loud talker, and a cougher walked into an elevator to punish me for not hitting the close door button fast enough.
@PhuckinCody: Even after seeing all of the Jurassic Park movies I still feel like a dinosaur theme park sounds like a really good idea