@DearAuntAbby: Your call is important to us, we'll interrupt calming music every 30secs for the next 20mins to remind you that your call is important to us
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@NYC_Blonde: I only sleep with my laptop so that if I ever get a boyfriend I'll be used to sharing the bed
@TheBoydP: "Why put a baseball bat up when you can just lay it down on a stair in the middle of the stairway? What could go wrong?" ~My son apparently
@JohnLyonTweets: "I knew he was the murderer when I saw him on the dance floor," Holmes said. "You see, Watson, guilty feet have got no rhythm."