@DearAuntAbby: Your call is important to us, we'll interrupt calming music every 30secs for the next 20mins to remind you that your call is important to us
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@Writethatdown12: Trainer: "ok, lets warm up 1st....wait, where are you going!?" Me: "tanning bed"
@Julie_Cooker: Shout out to all the married couples who are filled with passion. Those 2 couples should hang out together some time.
@AimeeHelene1: Me: Do you want anything from Chipotle? CW: Yeah....just surprise me. Me: *comes back with no food* SURPRISE!
@JWilsonGA: Just saw my wife's tampon string hanging out while she slept. Not sure, but I bet if I lit her fuse she'd explode bigger than any firework.