@DearAuntAbby: Your call is important to us, we'll interrupt calming music every 30secs for the next 20mins to remind you that your call is important to us
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@GrantTanaka: First man discovered fire. Then he invented the wheel. Then there was, like, 500 years where he just kept setting the wheel on fire.
@samuelhlowe: Asked my Ouija board if I was getting laid tonight & the pointer keeps gliding back & forth between the H & the A. It's been over an hour.
@causticbob: I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It's true. After going to the gym earlier I've decided I'm never going again.