@DearAuntAbby: Your call is important to us, we'll interrupt calming music every 30secs for the next 20mins to remind you that your call is important to us
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@Brampersandon_: [Me]: What's a snowman's favorite drink? [Bartender]: idk [Me]: Brrrr-bon lol [Bartender]: ... [Me]: jk snowmen don't drink they aren't real
@beefman138: If Twitter allowed us to attach a signature to each Tweet, mine would be : "He said, stupidly."
@antsimpson: "Look we LOVE the script for 'Murder Bees', just change the name to 'My Girl' and you've got yourself a movie!!"