@roxyisrad: Your call is very important to us. So please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
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@LackOfShame: Have fun, but be careful. Your sister was vacuumed up last week, and yesterday your cousin was killed with a shoe. - spider moms, probably
@dafloydsta: I lost my job today "What? How?" I just wasn't a good housekeeper "BUT YOU'RE A BEEKEEPER" Well that explains all the screaming
@david8hughes: [picking son up from soccer practice] Me: how was it? Coach: he did very well Me: how many goals did you score? Son: none Me: right well one of you is a liar then
@shahrouzt: My dad recently fell for one of those Nigerian prince scam emails. I feel bad for him but I really needed the money.