@mrjohntofu: Your car took up two spaces, I tried to move it over with my key.
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@donewithalll: Why does Mommy always say no? Well Son, if Mommy said yes all the time you'd have 20 more siblings. #Friyay
@PeachyPixel8: I JUST DRUNK 37 MONSTER ENERGYS AND NOW I CAN SMELL ABSTRACT LEGISLATIVE EUPHEMISMS
@weinerdog4life: The cops said 911 was for emegencies only and not for me to report suspicious looking clouds.
@sarahjeong: the turkey takes his mask off it's edward snowden obama groans, it's too late to unpardon him now