@mrjohntofu: Your car took up two spaces, I tried to move it over with my key.
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@panmidwest: [Walk into a Cat Cafe] Me-I've never eaten cat. What do you recommend? Lady-They're for adopting not eating M-Oh, well can I adopt one? L-No
@vikkaroni: Just once I'd like to walk down the aisle, take my vows, say I do... Without being dragged out being told, "Ma'am, you're not the bride..."
@ericsshadow: *orders pepperoni pizza* Her: you need to start taking better care of yourself. *calls back, adds mushrooms*