@mrjohntofu: Your car took up two spaces, I tried to move it over with my key.
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@ReneeHooray: Found out a guy I dated was in jail for attempted murder. He never even tried to take me camping, I'm not even good enough to kill.
@nyctwon: I feel creepy every time I 'follow' someone. Where are they going to take me? I hope its somewhere good
@Death_Buddy: ARE YOU A MAN OR A MOUSE? "Haha a man obviously" *Detective places cheese on table* *suspect starts to sweat*
@Pro_Jones_: *Listening to red hot chili peppers* Me: You call that music? I can't even hear anything! Worker: Sir, stop putting produce to your ear.