@ozzyunc: Your cat doesn't love you. If it were bigger it would eat you.
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@DanMentos: “Ever wonder why Rice Krispies costs the same as quieter cereals?” why would- “It’s because they're sold by weight-“ Dan, NO “not by volume"
@michaeljhudson: What sound does a cow make? "Moooo" Good, a duck? "Quack" Good, how about a seal? "My power my PLEASURE MY PAIN, babaaaayyy
@JermHimselfish: *holding a rattlesnake in each hand* These are the angriest maracas I've ever played