@ozzyunc: Your cat doesn't love you. If it were bigger it would eat you.
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@Reverend_Scott: Dr: He has a lot of blockage "So my Dad has a bad heart?" Dr: He also donates to charity "So he has a good heart?" Dr: Ya, it evens out
@JosesLovesYou: So Nicolas Cage and John Travolta walk into a bar and the bartender says "hey, why the wrong face?"
@copymama: My 7yo said if she ever gets married she wants to have a pajama-themed wedding, and I feel like my parenting has come to fruition.
@TrueTorontoGirl: My friend is looking for a single, normal, well adjusted man. I told her to avoid twitter.