@donjuantip: Your cell should have a 'drunk mode' like 'airplane mode' so that no text messages or tweets leave your phone but you can still call a taxi.
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@SuperJuanderer: [cats on a date in a fancy restaurant] Male: I can't decide if I want tuna or the salmon. Female: *Slowly pushes pepper shaker off table
@BruceForce: Hate it when a mum automatically assumes their baby is hungry when they cry. Maybe they're crying for a stable economy. YOU DON'T KNOW!