@donjuantip: Your cell should have a 'drunk mode' like 'airplane mode' so that no text messages or tweets leave your phone but you can still call a taxi.
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@KizerBillhelm: Make librarians cry by calling it a "Book Museum" while taking pictures with your iPad.
@DebasaurusRex: I won't be gratified sexually until someone dumps one of those big Gatorade containers on me after.
@Eightinchgoat: I think I'm gonna shave my legs so that there's less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.