@ScottLinnen: Your "COEXIST" sticker inspired me to slip a Madagascar hissing cockroach through your car window at the mall. Peace.
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@Mister_Veritas: [first day in the mob] *leans over to mafioso* Hey, so, uhh, I've always wondered: are they all just named "Don" or...
@7_Cents: United States: There's 5280 feet in one mile. Rest of the World: What even is that? United States: Lol, we made it up.
@BeardSpice: "Do you have Coke" No, is Pepsi okay "Do you have updog" What's updog "Haha not much and no Pepsi is absolutely not okay"
@Jeffwni: 13yo Jesus: You're not my real dad! I HATE YOU! Joseph: One of these days boy, I'll— [distant thunder] I'll do nothing. Absolutely nothing.