@ScottLinnen: Your "COEXIST" sticker inspired me to slip a Madagascar hissing cockroach through your car window at the mall. Peace.
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@FattMernandez: I don't honk at women because I don't let a girl know she's attractive with the same thing I use to scare ducks from in front of my car.
@Book_Krazy: [Couples Therapy] HER: He keeps pretending he's a doctor. This relationship is dead HIM: I'm calling it. Time of death, 9:26 ME: OMG SEE!
@suntzufuntzu: Me: [Advancing my knight] How much to build a hotel on this square? Grim Reaper: First, as I explained, that's not how the horse moves.
@EmberToAsh: I wonder how many tragedies I’ve prevented by standing nearby with my hands on my hips saying “Be careful!”