@TheMichaelRock: Your college degree doesn't mean you're smart, it just means you're in debt.
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@Schmoodles: I wish I was an American so that I had the right to bear arms. I'd probably go for panda bear arms because awwwww, so cute.
@AristotlesNZ: Boss: Let's talk about the elephant in the room. Me: Not cool, dude. Jan's just pregnant. Him:.. Me: Jan if you report this I got your back.
@LeoLion_16: My neighbours loved that song so much, they threw a rock in my window to hear it better.
@GarryShandling: If you're head of the CIA and can't hide an extramarital affair it means it can't be done. Case closed, fellas.